The Wisening Of Sue McMahon

Spoiler alert: I can’t tell you who Sue McMahon is.

I can tell you she is my mom. I can tell you she is retiring in a few days from a 32 year career as a Special Ed Para at Mississippi Elementary. I can tell you other things about her, but I can’t tell you who she is. To know that, you’d have to know the millions of ways she’s been quietly and selflessly making a difference in the lives of those around her for as long as I can remember. To know who Sue McMahon is, you’d have to be one of the lucky ones to have received her kindness, her thoughtfulness, her love & caring.

I can’t tell you who Sue McMahon is, but I can tell you as a little boy attending Mississippi Elementary during my mom’s first couple of years as a para I wondered how she could be of use to the fifth grade kids when she disliked math so much. I can tell you little boys don’t understand the world at all.

My mom is wise. She is humble and considerate. How did she get wise? Because she took care of every kid she was assigned to over the years and abandoned none of them. Because she connected with these kids and learned about who they were and what they needed. Because she listened and heard. Because she was not focused on being an argument winner.

Working at a public school in a large school district there were always arguments she would never win even if she wanted to, but my mom didn’t spend all her time and energy worrying about winning. She focused on the kids.

From the 1990s to today public schools have changed in many ways, making it harder and harder for educators to provide a safe and enriching experience for kids. My mom found a way to adapt to every change over the years and to continue to give the kids her all.

Over 30+ years my Mom got to know many students, and she helped them in many ways, but one student became particularly close to my mom.

Brendan was blind from a brain tumor. He had very little chance of living a long life. Still, he was a boy who wanted to do what kids do: go to school. Going to school required a lot of extra help. This is how my mom met Brendan. She was the para assigned to give him the extra help needed so he could experience school in a classroom with other students.

My mom and Brendan had a special connection. She could engage with him and help him engage with the world around him. She understood him and what he was feeling and needing. With my mom at his side, Brendan would talk and tell jokes, he would participate in class assignments, and he would smile.

Despite all of the time and effort, energy and caring my mom put into her relationship with Brendan, she knew his condition was only going to worsen. There was no winning.

My mom is wise because she gave her all to a boy who would most certainly never be a big athlete, a high school valedictorian, a CEO, a senator. She gave her all to Brendan just for being Brendan.

My mom helped Brendan through his elementary school years and then she had to let him go. She stayed in touch with him and his family, but, no matter what she wanted, her daily time with Brendan was up.

After Brendan passed away, his family invited my mom & dad, me, my sister, and our families to a lunch and a remembrance at their home. What a special connection that had grown between my mom and Brendan’s family.

At my mom’s retirement party – now years after Brendan had passed away – Austin, Brendan’s brother, showed up to give my mom a card.

What makes my mom wise? She gave her time to what really mattered. She gave her time to so many kids, and to Brendan in particular. Yes, these kids needed to participate in classroom assignments and they needed to make it through lunch and recess and onto the bus at the end of the day, but these kids also needed someone to listen to them, to understand them, to care about them. My mom showed up for these kids.

Why am I writing about my mom on a scent work blog? Because it’s my blog and I can do what I want. Happy retirement, mom. I love you.

Also, because being wise is being wise. My mom became wise in the classroom. You can become wise in the search. But, if you focus on winning, you are not wise.

You can disagree with me. I won’t try to win the argument. I’ll be focused on the dogs. I learned that from my mom…

Happy Sniffing!